


Lost

by Schmutzkralle



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt, M/M, this is just depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21553474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schmutzkralle/pseuds/Schmutzkralle
Summary: Chan comes home. Usually, there's his boyfriend who welcomes him.But not today. Did something happen?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Kudos: 35





	Lost

„Minho?” Chan called out.  
Weird. The apartment wasn’t that silent usually.  
The lights were off. No television, no music blasting.  
What happened to his boyfriend?  
Chan knew he was there, his shoes were a clear indicator.  
Slowly he walked through the lifeless apartment.  
Minho had to be somewhere.  
The kitchen was empty, not even a single crumb of food was found there. The bathroom was cold and unused since the morning.  
As he pushed the door to their dark bedroom open, his gaze located a small ball on the bed.  
There he was.  
„Honey, are you okay?” Chan didn’t raise his voice.  
Something was wrong.  
The ball didn’t move. Seems like Minho buried himself deep under the sheets.  
Step for step Chan slowly came closer to their bed.  
„Minho, what is going on?”  
He was worried. What happened to his normally so positive boyfriend?  
Chan kneeled down besides the bed and reached out.  
„Don’t!”  
The demand let Chan halt.  
„You don’t want to get touched?”  
„Don’t…”  
He heard how strongly Minho tried to fight against the tears.  
„Honey, talk to me.”  
No answer.  
Shit.  
„It’s okay.”  
Chan tried. He can’t give up so easily.  
Not when his partner is in so much pain.  
„No, it’s not!”  
An answer.  
An angry answer, yes. But an answer.  
Something he could work with.  
„What is not okay?”  
Chan tried to control his breath. To breathe deeply.  
To be the foundation his boyfriend needed now.  
But…  
No luck.  
„Minho. Please. Talk to me.”  
Chan wasn’t sure if he heard some sobbing.  
„I’m here.”  
This broke Minho.  
Literally.  
Suddenly the ball was no ball anymore.  
Minho threw himself off the bed, into Chan’s arms.  
„Woah!”  
At first, Chan was just surprised.  
But then he felt Minho shaking. And somehow his t-shirt became wet.  
Slowly he placed his arms around his boyfriend.  
Trying to anchor him. Trying to give somewhat of support.  
And he didn’t say anything.  
He was just there. There for him.  
The wet spot on his shirt grew bigger and bigger.  
Chan placed a hand on Minho’s hair. And started to pet it.  
„I’m here.”  
The renewed promise let Minho cry even more.  
But that was okay. You can’t bottle everything up all the time.  
There’s a time and place where you have to let it out eventually.  
„Chan”  
His first word was unsure and saturated with a devastating sadness.  
„I’m lost.”  
That’s all he said.  
Chan held him closer, feeling the hurt behind these words.  
„Take your time Honey. I’ll wait for you.”  
Breathing got more and more difficult. Not because of the person on top of him, no.  
Because he knew that feeling.  
He kept on petting Minho’s hair. Being busy with something helped him not going down that dark road that Minho was currently on.  
Finally, Minho moved a small bit away from Chan’s shirt.  
„I… I don’t know. I don’t know myself anymore. I lost myself. My goals. My future. I’m not happy anymore. I haven’t been in so long. And I’m sick of pretending.”  
A deep but unsure breath escaped Minho.  
„The truth is: I’m lost. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know who I am. And I just wanna go back to my old self. But nothing works.”  
Then he started shaking again.  
„I’m so sorry. This is pathetic.”  
He buried his face on Chan’s chest again.  
„No.”  
As Minho heard Chan’s tone he looked up.  
Chan’s face was tear-streaked and his voice broke.  
„No, it is not pathetic. I feel the same.”  
The tears just flowed down their faces.  
„But it is okay. Sometimes life is just pure shit.”  
Chan fished a tissue out of his pocket and tried to dry Minho’s and his own face.  
„It’s okay to be lost sometimes. It really is. But I’m here. And I won’t leave you. I promise.”  
The tears on Minho’s face just wouldn’t stop. His hands clung tightly on Chan’s already very wet t-shirt.  
„I just… I don’t know Chan. I just don’t know how to live anymore.”  
Chan moved his hands up and down on Minho’s back.  
„It’s okay.” His voice was drowned in tears.  
„We’ll figure it out together.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry?
> 
> Yell at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/131holic).  
> If you want to be up to date with what I'm currently writing you can look [at my profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schmutzkralle/profile).


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